From an epic two-horse race to the joy of Levante, it's time for the annual end-of-season Spanish football awards
Week two and all was well with the world. Sure, the season had started a week late because of a players' strike and, sure, week two was officially week three, but still. Everyone was feeling a little cocky. Everyone, that is, except the Sevilla president, José María del Nido. A few days before, he had denounced La Liga as the "biggest pile of junk in Europe". When it came to competitiveness, the league was, he said, "shit". The phrase liga de mierda was everywhere. Now, suddenly, it didn't look so bad. Barcelona had been held by Real Sociedad and the big two were not even the top two. There was no need to change a thing; there was going to be an open league title race after all.
"All week talking about the TV contracts, of unjust distribution, of a two-team league or a shit one and at the hour of truth football shows that just about anything is possible," cheered Marca, while AS's editorial insisted: "This league is not so two-team." There was more to come, too. Atlético Madrid went into week five unbeaten, Levante went top for the first time in their history, and one television channel was running a poll: could Valencia win the league? 73% of viewers said yes. On the back of Sport, a cartoon depicted Del Nido admitting: "I'm going to have to eat my words with chips."
Only he didn't have to, they did. By the end of the season, there was a familiar look to Spanish football. Levante's implausibly brilliant challenge did not last – but, to their immense credit, did not entirely die either – and they slipped off top spot in week nine, never to return. Nor would anyone else: it was Madrid and Barcelona all the way. The Valencia supporters' federation ended up writing a collective letter to their coach Unai Emery, who had taken them to third place and the semi-finals of the Copa del Rey and the Europa League, which basically read: Dear Unai, piss off. Lots of love, the fans xx. At the end of the season, he did. And Atlético sacked another coach, embarking on their 49th managerial stint since 1987.
Amazingly, though, Atlético's latest manager, Diego Simeone, led them to a Europa League triumph that was infinitely more impressive than the one the club had achieved two years earlier. Atlético defeated Athletic Bilbao, having knocked out Valencia in the previous round. Spain's success in providing three of the four semi-finalists suggested that if this is a two-horse race it is not because the rest are a bunch of donkeys. But a two-horse race it certainly was. When the final day came, the big two were miles ahead once more. Málaga, last summer's biggest investors finished fourth, qualifying for the Champions League for the first time in their history, and Valencia, in third, finished 39 points behind Madrid, only 20 points ahead of relegation.
Speaking of relegation, Sporting Gijón slipped back into the Second Division along with Racing Santander. You know, Racing, the club whose owner claimed that he was going to turn them into the country's third force – and then disappeared off the face of the earth. Villarreal went too. A stable club who do not owe anyone a penny fell through the trap door at the end of a season that they had started in the Champions League while Rayo Vallecano and Real Zaragoza, in administration and in crisis, survived on the final day. Something wasn't quite right.
And so, four long years later, Madrid are champions again, this time under José Mourinho. He was at the centre of the agenda all year, for good and bad. From the finger poke that started the season to waiting for the ref in the car park, from the confrontation with some of his players to the media blackout, or the incognito trip to London. And a bloody good football team. Madrid won the league by smashing records along the way. Extraordinarily competitive, fast, athletic, skilful, well-organised and with great variety, they scored 121 goals, obliterating the previous record of 107, which was also beaten by Barcelona. They also racked up an astonishing 100 points.
That was the highest total ever; the second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, and eighth highest totals have been set by the same two teams over the last four years. Meanwhile, Ronaldo scored 46 goals, more than anyone ever except Lionel Messi, who scored 50. Del Nido was not so wrong, but by then the rebellion had long been crushed. No one else stood a chance. Madrid won the league. Barcelona, coming to the end of an era with an exhausted Pep Guardiola finally deciding he'd had enough, won the Copa del Rey. Atlético apart, no one else won a thing.
Actually, that's not entirely true …
Best team
First, an honorary mention for Mirandés, the Second Division B side who reached the Copa del Rey semi-final and won promotion. But this season's best team, and the best story for years, were Levante. Every Monday, the club's groundsman Raimón climbs the stands and, in order of the league table, raises the flags up the poles that run along the back of the stands. For the first time ever, this season he hoisted Levante's into first place. They held on there until week nine, when they were knocked off and written off. But Levante resisted their inevitable slide down the table and kept on competing, right to the end. So what? Well, this is the club that has spent a total of less than €500,000 on players in the last four years combined, whose sporting director says "players run away when they hear what we have to offer", who have the oldest defence in the history of the league and a team packed with cast-offs, has-beens and never-really-weres, Spanish football's Expendables. As if that was not enough, their main striker had joined on loan from Sevilla – where he had scored one goal in five years – and had a clause in his contract saying that he automatically had to return if he scored 18 goals this season, which he was never going to do. So when he got to 17 he suddenly picked up a mysterious "injury" that meant he missed the final, decisive games of the season. And still they made it into Europe for the first time ever. So what's the secret? The secret, says the club's doctor, is simple: "Beer and pizza."
Best fans
On the final day of the season, Getafe's Coliseum was packed. With Real Zaragoza fans. Well, it was never going to be packed with Getafe fans. 50,000 Athletic Bilbao supporters travelled to Madrid for the Copa del Rey final, even though less than a third had tickets. And Sporting Gijon's supporters will be missed. But the winners are the boys from the barrio, Rayo Vallecano. Even a three-sided stadium can't stop them. Down in the People's Republic of Vallekas, no one ever sits, they boing up and down to chants of "whoever doesn't bounce is a fascist!" and they've even produced stickers showing former player Laurie Cunningham alongside the slogan: "Love Rayo, hate racism." When they lost 1-0 to Madrid, they unfurled a banner that said: "0-1. The result doesn't matter – we came here to cheer you on." They do a nice line in protests and celebrations, too.
Best protest
Amidst the insults, accusations and excuses, amidst all the politics and the point-scoring, there was something brilliantly effective about the simplicity of this banner in response to Real Madrid's refusal to host the Copa del Rey final between Athletic Bilbao and Barcelona. "Florentino," it ran, "because of you 17,955 members will not be able to go to the cup final. Thanks very much." Meanwhile, Rayo fans complained about their club's decision to force season ticket holders to pay €20 to attend the Barcelona game by vacating the stand behind the goal and holding up a banner that said: "Is this what you want the stands to look like?" Underneath, a smaller banner directed at the club's president read: "€20 is what your mum costs." The day before, they had turned up to buy their tickets – with bulging bags of one cent coins.
But the best came in Sevilla. Their match with Levante was delayed until 10.30pm on a Saturday night instead of occupying the normal 10pm slot, meaning that it finished well into Sunday. The reason was not so much to stop it clashing with Barcelona-Madrid, which started at 8pm, as to stop it clashing with the post-match press conferences from Barcelona-Madrid. "Stop the game," ran one banner, "Mou's still talking!". Sevilla fans were hasta las pelotas. Literally, up to the balls. So they decided to show just how hasta las pelotas they were – by throwing hundreds of tennis balls on to the pitch.
Best banner
Racing Santander's fans held up a banner declaring: "No politicians, no businessmen, Racing is ours!" Sadly, they were wrong. Levante's fans held up one that declared them: "Poor, ugly and bad at football", and it turned out they were wrong too – on one count at least. And Madrid's ultras responded to yet another win against Atlético with a Loot-style advert: "Wanted: worthy rival for a decent derby." But for being as prophetic as it was provocative, the winner is another Madridista creation. In the aftermath of José Mourinho sticking his finger in the eye of Barcelona's No2 Tito Vilanova, a gigantic tarpaulin was stretched across the second tier at the Santiago Bernabéu. "Mou," it said, "your finger shows us the way." What they didn't know was that the "us" in question was Barcelona, not Madrid.
Best signing
Santi Cazorla. Yes, even at €19m.
Best presentation
Joaquín. Most players wave a bit, do a few kick-ups and kiss the badge. Joaquín took the mic and cracked a joke. Not a very good joke, admittedly, but still. A joke.
"Málaga," he told the supporters, "are playing in the Champions League and a man arrives late at the stadium, looking for somewhere to sit, but the place is packed. Suddenly, he sees an empty seat out of the corner of his eye. As he approaches, the woman next to it says: 'You can sit here if you want.' The man is grateful but he can't help wondering how the seat came to be empty; whose seat was it?
'My husband's', says the woman.
'And where's your husband?'
'He died.'
'I'm so sorry,' says the man, but still he is a bit confused. 'Wasn't there some friend of family member that could have taken the seat today? Why did no one come with you?'
'Because,' says the woman, 'they're all at the funeral'."
Best newspaper cover
Double entendres too subtle for you? Fear not, the Galician version of Sport went for a single entendre instead.
Daftest insult
José Antonio Reyes does it again. The man who once protested his innocence by insisting "I didn't shit on the referee's prostitute mother, I shat on my prostitute mother", was told to warm up by the Atlético coach, Gregorio Manzano. Reyes was not impressed. "Send on your prostitute mother," he snapped. Which was a ridiculous thing to say. Manzano's mother wasn't even on the bench.
Daftest injury
Runner-up is the Racing fan calling for his hero's shirt from behind the substitutes' bench. When it was thrown his way, he leapt forward … and straight through the breaking roof of the dugout. But the winner is Ever Banega. When he left the handbrake off his car and came out of the petrol station shop to find it rolling away, he tried to stop it. With his foot.
Most painful injury
Oscar de Marcos. Booted between the legs, he needed 25 stitches … yes, there.
Daftest player
Getafe versus Málaga. An hour and a half before kick-off and a group of players from both sides are chatting on the pitch. "Did you hear Dani's latest?," Santi Cazorla is asked. "No," he says. So they start to tell him about Dani Güiza's recent trip to the petrol station with his new car when he only goes and fills it with diesel instead of petrol. The players are giggling away like mad until Cazorla realises that there's something not right about the story. "They have different sized nozzles," he says, "How did you manage to fill it with the wrong petrol?" To which Güiza replies: "From a distance."
Worst decision
The Recreativo de Huelva coach, Alvaro Cervera, literally stopped his team's bus, made it turn round, drive back to the stadium, drop him off, and continue its journey without him. And for what? For the chance to leave them and go down with Racing. Breaking a record for the longest losing run in Spanish football history along the way.
Best shirts
Villarreal decided that they were going to mark Mothers' Day by playing with the names of the mothers who gave birth to them on the back of their shirts – an idea so good the fans were reminding them of it for the rest of the season.
Best sponsor
After four long years and a grand total of zero flights, Castelló airport stopped sponsoring Villarreal this season, but aviation still wins this award. Early one morning, crossing Barajas runway, there it was: an LFP-sponsored plane. An LFP plane? Two seats in business, the rest in the hold and no idea what time take-off is, then.
Best goal
You could choose any number of goals from Cristiano Ronaldo and Leo Messi, with Ronaldo's against Atlético and Messi's against Sevilla probably the best of a very, very good bunch. You can find all of Messi's goals here. And all of Ronaldo's here. Ruben's brilliant 93rd-minute goal in week nine gave Levante a 3-2 win and kept their incredible, ridiculous, heart-warming and utterly, stupidly brilliant story running. Nélson returned from a year out injured and went and did this in the last minute on the day of his return, dragging Real Betis away from the relegation zone and his coach, Pepe Mel, away from the sack. Falcao scored a stupidly good goal last week – but it probably doesn't count, what with it coming in a friendly and that – so his chip against Real Sociedad will just have to do instead.
Speaking of overhead kicks, Júlio Baptista scored one against Getafe in the very last minute and Hélder Postiga got this against Real Sociedad. Málaga went to Getafe and scored three ridiculously good goals from a combined distance of 100 yards. Dani Alves smashed this one in, Karim Benzema turned all Marco van Basten against Osasuna, and Beñat had the clever idea of not going round the wall, not going over the wall, but going under it. To score the winner. In the last minute. Of the Seville derby.
And what could be better than a goal from inside your own half? How about two goals from inside your own half? Step forward Iñigo Martínez – against Betis and against Athletic Bilbao. No wonder Xabi Alonso remarked: "Martínez is my idol!". Or how about a goal from inside your own half … with a nutmeg thrown in? Because that's what Real Oviedo's Matar Diop did. Woof!
Best goal celebration
Fredi Kanouté celebrated his last ever goal for Sevilla in typically classy, understated way. He pulled his shirt up to reveal a message underneath. It said simply: "Gracias." But the best was Carlos Martins. He learned that his little son was seriously ill and needed a bone marrow transplant. His team-mates, both with club and country, rallied around him, donation points were set up round the ground, team-mates promised to contribute, and there were T-shirts in support. So when he scored a beauty to give his struggling side a 2-1 lead, the celebration was bound to be a bit special. Gripping the T-shirt, he began to cry and there was a colossal ovation. It was the perfect night; a genuinely touching moment … until someone threw an umbrella from the stands which hit the linesman in the face, drawing blood. Two minutes after Martin's moment, the game was abandoned.
Best save
This one from Rayo's José Ramón Sandoval. That's Rayo manager José Ramón Sandoval. "Sorry," he said afterwards, "I thought I was Michael Jordan for a minute there."
Best game
0-0 makes it sound rubbish but Madrid-Valencia had it all: tension and intensity, speed, quality and a breathlessness that left you exhausted just watching it. It swung from one end to the next and back again. The ball fizzed about. It had 33 shots from Madrid yet still had no goals. Not least because it also had bad misses, close shaves, five off the post and countless astonishing saves from Iker Casillas and especially Vicente Guaita. It also looked like it might reopen the title race in the final weeks. Then there was the 2-2 draw between Athletic Bilbao and Barcelona, a game that Guardiola called a "song to football" and was played – as football should be – in the pouring rain. Messi scored a last-minute equaliser, leaving Marcelo Bielsa noting: "It is hard to take because we were so close to winning but it was lovely." At the final whistle, Guardiola and Bielsa embraced. "Your players are beasts," Guardiola said. To which Bielsa replied: "So are yours."
Best manager
Manolo Jiménez led Zaragoza to the greatest escape since Sylvester Stallone saved that penalty, winning eight of the last 11 games of the season – a run that included a La Liga first. A team that was bottom of the league had never won away from home with a man fewer than their opposition before. Zaragoza did it with two men fewer. And all that after he had stormed out of a press conference declaring that he felt "ashamed" and admitted that all he could realistically aspire to ensuring was that his team went down with dignity, insisting: "At least let's not drag this shirt through the mud." Yet Jiménez built a tough, aggressive side, created unity and promised to dance a jota in front of Zaragoza's Pilar Cathedral if they survived. They did, and so did he. While the crowd chanted: "Jiménez, Jiménez, what bollocks you have!" Which is bound to have pleased the priest.
Diego Simeone turned Atlético round, won the Europa League, almost got into the Champions League, and became an even bigger Atlético legend than he already was. Manuel Pellegrini quietly built a Málaga team that pipped them to that slot. José Ramón Sandoval kept Rayo up. Just. And almost unnoticed, Joaquín Caparrós took over at relegation-threatened Mallorca and dragged them up to eighth. Despite some genuinely significant difficulties over the course of the campaign, José Mourinho won the league back for Madrid – and in brilliant style. As for Pep Guardiola, this was not his best season but he bowed out as the most successful coach in Barcelona's history.
Two men stand out, though: Marcelo Bielsa, who gave the best press conference response of the year, changed Bilbao's entire philosophy and had supporters enjoying their football like never before, hammering Manchester United, beating Schalke, reaching two Cup finals and … losing them both. Which means that the winner has to be the brilliantly named JIM, Juan Ignacio Martínez, who took Levante – Levante for goodness sake – into Europe.
Best player
Third: "Radamel Falcao, said Marca, "is the force that makes the world go round." And there was this column thinking that was fat bottomed girls.
Second: Leo Messi. More goals and more assists than anyone else. He finished the season as top scorer in Spain on a barely plausible all-time high of 50 goals and as top scorer in the Champions League for the third time in a row. He scored in the final of the Copa del Rey too, meaning that he has now played in 14 finals with Barcelona and scored in 13 of them. In total he got 73 – seventy-flipping-three! – and was just unbelievably good. Yet again.
First: Cristiano Ronaldo. A season when Messi and Ronaldo didn't just match each other stride for stride for goals but both missed Champions League semi-final penalties. The Champions League might have tilted the balance one way or the other; ultimately, then, the league has to. When Ronaldo scored the winning goal in the clásico, he ran to the edge of the pitch and celebrated with a gesture that said: 'Relax, I'm here. Leave it to me.' It wasn't a bad idea. Madrid finally won back the league title and it was Ronaldo, more than anyone else, who dragged them to it. Which is why he, just, gets the nod. Scored away in Bilbao, Pamplona, and Barcelona in the run-in. Brutal and brilliant. A beast.
Team of the season
Roberto (Zaragoza), Iraola (Athletic), Ramos (Real Madrid), Ballesteros (Levante), Siqueira (Granada), Michu (Rayo), Alonso (Real Madrid), Cazorla (Málaga), Ronaldo (Real Madrid), Messi (Barcelona), Falcao (Atlético).
Subs: De Marcos, Martínez, Llorente (Athletic); Busquets, Mascherano (Barcelona); Raúl García, Cejudo (Osasuna); Benzema, Higuaín, Ozil (Madrid); Soldado (Valencia); Xavi (Barcelona), Toulalan, Isco (Málaga); Koné (Levante); Vela, Martínez (Real Sociedad); Courtois (Atlético); Beñat (Betis).
And finally … some of the season's choicest quotes
• "We're the same" – José Mourinho provokes Pep Guardiola.
• "I'm going to have to revise my behaviour, then" – Guardiola responds.
• "I have as much faith in Marcelino now as I did the day I employed him" – Sevilla's sporting director Monchi. The week before sacking him.
• "There is internet, you know" – one Real Madrid player responds to reports that Mourinho had banned the day's papers from the team hotel.
• "¡Olé our bollocks!" – Levante's Juanlu. ¡Olé!, indeed.
• "This newspaper is handsome, monarchist, Catholic, Spanish … and a Real Madrid fan" – ABC editor Bieito Rubido.
• "People are jealous of me because I am rich, handsome and good at football" – people forget that Cristiano Ronaldo was, at least partly, joking. And that he was right. (On two out of three, at least: this column will let you judge the third).
• "You don't talk for that long if it's not agreeable and worthwhile" – Guardiola has clearly never watched Punto Pelota.
• "Yeah, but if we both pray, then what? A draw?" – JIM isn't convinced that there's much point in asking for divine inspiration.
• "No … he's madder" – Iker Muniáin dismisses rumours that Marcelo Bielsa is mad. Sort of.
• "Leaving now would be the act of a coward. I am the captain of this ship and I am not going. We need to let women and children off the boat first, then the men, then the crew and last of all the captain" – Manolo Jiménez has obviously never heard of Francesco Schettino.
• "My shoes are destroyed: the soles are worn through and they're covered in chalk. My suit is ruined. But I don't care. We can't go around trying to be handsome. Besides, that's what dry cleaners are for – there's a need for employment in Spain, so let them clean it" – but he does do his bit for the country's ailing economy.
• "If it wasn't for Barcelona, Madrid could win without a coach" – Mourinho. So many interpretations, so little time …
• "I would rather my daughter got pregnant than Betis went down" – The Betis coach, Pepe Mel, gets his priorities all right.
• "I didn't poison the dog, the previous guy poisoned the dog" – Javier Clemente makes sure everyone knows it's not his fault that Sporting are in trouble.
• "My dad died suddenly when I was 17, his heart failed. But if it hasn't tonight, my heart will never break" – The Rayo manager, José Ramón Sandoval, reflects on his team's last-day, last-minute survival.
• "Comparing players rarely gets done as a way of eulogising the chosen one, but as a way of criticising the other one" – Bielsa nails it.
• "I'm not dead; I'm just leaving" – so does Guardiola.
• "What sells in this country is controversy. There's a sports newspaper that loses 300,000 readers every time its team loses and that says it all" – and so too does Sánchez Arminio, the head of Spain's refereeing committee. Read More
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